My Single-Living Girl Era
It’s been a hot minute since something came out on this site, but I ended up taking a long and unintended hiatus. Since my ACL surgery in June (yes I finally fixed my broken knee! Now I’m only half broken), pretty much all my mental and physical energy has gone into getting better, stronger, and rehabbing my knee. With that combined with the novelty of summer, and going out with friends to create a sense of normalcy to a very un-normal summer, creative side projects took a back seat.
The beginning of September marked the start of my single-living girl era as I like to call it. No, I did not break up with my long term boyfriend of almost 5 years, he simply moved out. He started grad school this September at Western University - a mere 200km from our shared home, and with that meant that he would be living in London, Ontario for the duration of his graduate program (MA in Counselling Psychology for those that were curious. He’s going to be a therapist!).
We moved in together in 2021, and not only was it our first time living together, but it was the first time I was moving out in general; moving out from my parents home, the place I’ve called home for the last 23 years of my life. In the last 2 weeks, I’ve gotten a lot of questions about what it’s been like living on my own with Matt gone. Honestly, it has been quite lovely. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely miss his presence, but it has been almost unexpectedly really really nice. I remember mentioning to a friend prior to Matt’s departure for grad school that I was almost excited for him to leave. Not because I was excited about doing the long distance thing again, but excited for the change in pace, and I think deep down, I knew that it would benefit my overall productivity.
When we lived together, I started to feel almost co-dependent, and I definitely realized this at some point, and did not like it. I was almost too comfortable, relying on him or even knowing that if I needed help, he would be there. Now that he’s gone, I feel like I’ve gained a lot of my independence back.
I grew up an only child, and a wildly independent child for that matter. For the longest time, it was just me. Sure, I had my parents, but it has always been in my nature to do things on my own. From a very young age, I learned that if I wanted something, I had to be the one to go and get it. I thank my parents for instilling this in me. I remember going out with my parents on weekends, and my mom always telling me that if I wanted to bring something, I had to be the one to carry it, because they weren’t going to hold the stuffed animal, toy, or whatever it was that I wanted to bring. That stuck with me as I grew up, knowing that If i wanted a job I could be proud of, and checks all my boxes, I was going to have to do x, y, z, in order to get myself there and that’s exactly what I did.
For as long as I can remember, whether it was the transition from eighth grade to high school, high school to undergrad, or lastly from undergrad to real life, I have always tried to set myself up for success. That meant joining clubs, student groups, sports teams, or just putting myself out there to network, I knew I had to do it because no one else was going to do it for me, and I didn’t have the financial stability or resources to fall back on if I failed. Not doing anything wasn’t an option for me, and I like to think that played in my favour. It forced me to put myself in sometimes uncomfortable situations. Slowly I realized I actually enjoyed doing those things, and that ultimately allowed me to grow into leadership positions that I was able to leverage for the next step of my education/career.
My ACL recovery process has also played a large role in that feeling of co-dependency as well. 3 months ago, I was physically incapable of doing things on my own, and THAT was quite the adjustment, but that story is for another time. Him leaving was the perfect change of pace.
In the last two weeks alone, I feel like the old Victoria, pre-covid Victoria, and it feels like a breath of fresh air. I’ve gained my footing back (literally and figuratively, I can walk like a normal person again!), and it’s really exciting because I can feel exciting changes coming. I don’t know what is exactly in store for me but it feels like my life is about take multiple exciting pivots and I am ready (mentally and physically) to take it head on when it does come around the corner.
That’s all for today, thanks for reading. See you next time 👋